NOS Grape is again a disgrace to the NOS line.  The smell is of very light artificial grape.  The taste is horrible.  At first it tastes like a slightly sour artificial grape flavor, then it has a very sweet and gross aftertaste.  It’s not a medicinal aftertaste, but an artificially sweetened one.  You won’t be able to finish half of it before throwing it away.  It’s kind of like a Gatorade grape flavor, except it sucks hard.

Rating:

Color: 8/10 (light purple)

Canister aesthetics: 9/10

Taste: 4/10

Kick: 5/10 (you won’t finish it all)

Price: 8/10

More NOS – Grape facts:

• You won’t like it.

Monster Assault’s flavor is pretty distinct.  Kind of like a sour cola.  Hard to explain, but it’s crap.  Just know that the flavor’s slightly better than original Monster.

Rating:

Color: 1/10 (rust)

Canister aesthetics: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Kick: 6/10

Price: 8/10

More Monster Assault facts:

• Pour it out and look at the color, then decide if you want to drink it.

Somehow I forgot to write something about Monster, even though it was the second energy drink I ever drank, Red Bull being my first.

It tastes like a sweeter version of Rockstar original.  Sometimes it will have a medicinal smell and/or aftertaste.  Not an impressive energy drink, and the kick is just decent.  Actually, the whole Monster lineup is below average.  Nothing else to be said.  Cheap though, around $1.80 for 16 fl. oz.  Not as good as Jolt though.

Rating:

Color: 7/10 (brown-gold)

Canister aesthetics: 6/10

Taste: 6/10

Kick: 6/10

Price: 8/10

More Monster Facts:

• It’s overrated.

Just like Jolt Blue Raspberry: good taste, but guess what it tastes like this time:  SUNKIST.  Still cheap, though.

Rating:

Color: 8/10 (orange)

Canister aesthetics: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Kick: 3/10

Price: 9/10

More Jolt – Orange Blast Facts:

• It’s a orange soda with a little more energy.
• The can looks like a battery.

A decent energy drink.  Pretty cheap, 23 fl. oz. for $2, including tax.  The problem is the kick: there’s no kick, although it’s supposed to have a decent amount of caffeine.  If you’ve ever drank a melted blue raspberry Slurpee, that’s what Jolt Blue Raspberry tastes and smells like.  Not that I don’t like it, but I expect a buzz from an energy drink.

Rating:

Color: 10/10 (blue)

Canister aesthetics: 7/10

Taste: 7/10

Kick: 3/10

Price: 9/10

More Jolt – Blue Raspberry Facts:

• Because blue Slurpees taste good, so does Jolt Blue Raspberry.
• The can looks like a battery.

For those of you whining “you need nutritional facts!” as if you care about that stuff, there’s a neat site called Energy Fiend that tells you most of your nutritional facts and better yet compares the caffeine content of the drink you’re looking at to other.

As for any other complaints, here is an answer: go suck yourself.  I have a life, unlike some people, who, apparently, have nothing else to do.  I keep my posts short cause everyone has their own things to do, and I do this in my scarce spare time.

And for me, I can rate colors of energy drinks if I want to.

Unlike its original counterpart, NOS fruit punch tastes like crap.  It smells like fruit punch when you open it, but when you start drinking you smell and taste something like grass amidst the dull fruit punch flavor.  A disgrace to the NOS line, in other words.  Hopefully grape will be better.

Color:  8/10 (red)

Canister aesthetics:  9/10 (bottle version)

Taste:  3/10

Kick:  5/10 (only able to drink half before throwing away)

Price:  8/10

More NOS (fruit punch) facts:

• It tastes and smells like grass, but I will have to try this again.

First of all, who wants to drink something called Venom with a snake’s eye on it?  Second, what kind of flavor is “black mamba?”  Apparently Black Mamba flavor is like a typical energy drink original flavor, except way sweeter and it foams when you open the lid.  The thick aluminum bottle could be better used for a cleaner design, but instead it has black scales and a snake’s eye on it.  This energy drink just looks like it could kill you, which is not what an ordinary person wants from their energy drink.  The kick is also pretty weak.  So Venom is unpleasant in pretty much every aspect of energy drinks: physical appeal, taste, and kick.  But at least the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group tries to be original with their snake eye.

Ratings:

Color:  7/10 (gold, but very foamy when first opened)

Canister aesthetics:  3/10

Taste:  5/10

Kick:  5/10

Price:  6/10

More Venom Black Mamba Facts:

• Venom’s Black Mamba flavor doesn’t taste like a black mamba.

The Rockstar Punched Citrus has 50% more caffeine in it than the original Rockstar.  Too bad this doesn’t make Punched Citrus more flavorful.  Not enough sour or sweet to make it a good citrus drink.  The carbonation is weak also.  The 50% caffeine doesn’t make any difference in kick either.  No flavor, no extra kick, no carbonation, no nothing.

Rating:

Color:  8/10 (light green-yellow)

Canister aesthetics:  8/10

Taste:  5/10

Kick:  7/10

Price:  8/10

More Rockstar Punched Citrus Facts:

• Rockstar Juiced and Guava Juiced are better choices.

Rockstar Guava Juiced ties with the Rockstar Juiced.  Guava Juiced tastes like NOS, but with less carbonation, strength and flavor.  The smell is nice, strong and long-lasting.  Otherwise from being guava flavored, it is just like Rockstar Juiced.

Ratings:

Color:  10/10 (light purple)

Canister aesthetics:  8/10

Taste:  8/10

Kick:  7/10

Price:  8/10

More Rockstar Guava Juiced Facts:

• Ties with Rockstar Juiced as the best Rockstar drink.